“We must rapidly begin the shift from a “thing-oriented” society to a “person-oriented” society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered.”—Martin Luther King Jr. (via glynnthomas)
I continue to struggle with feeling life too strongly. Every emotion I experience is escalated, as if I’m living underneath a microscope. The problem is that once the sun begins shining, I should become joyful and warm, but instead I let it burn me up and fry me from the inside out.
Saw One Day tonight. I loved both the book and the movie, despite the general tone of sadness I felt throughout both. They missed their middle. Primarily because he couldn’t get his life together. It’s meant to be a love story, but it’s actually quite the tragedy.
“My life looks as if it had been wasted for want of chances! When I see what you know, what you have read, and seen, and thought, I feel what a nothing I am!”—Tess of the D’urbervilles - Thomas Hardy (via quote-book)
I’m so terrified of the future. Here I am at the ripe age of 22 in a masters of theology program that would seem to provide endless opportunities, yet I can’t shake the feeling that I’m running myself into a wall. I felt a strange desperation while my undergraduate degree was ending, because I realized the limitations of a religious studies degree. I continue to feel that desperation creeping up, making me doubt my future opportunities. I would hate to get a masters degree and then have to move back in with my parents, jobless and directionless. I think this is when I need to trust that it will work out and that everything will be okay. Keep breathing and knowing that God will take care of me, despite my doubts and confusion.
So I’m standing in this cute store called Hot ‘N Cold in Hillsboro today. It’s a small cafe with coffee, ice cream, and herbal tea made out of ground up flowers. As I’m waiting in line, I’m staring at the bewildering menu and deciding what I’d like to get, and a cute, tall hipster with a skateboard walks in. He has ear buds in and seems to be spaced out as he gets in line behind me. I’m not paying much attention to him until we’re standing next to a freezer and he begins doodling on it. He draws a pound sign in the condensation and an X in the top corner, then slyly grins at me. I smile back as it dawns on me. He gave me a silent invitation. So I draw an O in the bottom corner. We proceed to play tic tac toe in the condensation on the freezer. We don’t say a word to each other as we leave the cafe; breaking the silence would be like shattering a fragile vase. We grin at each other, he winks, and we go our separate ways. It was the most perfect 5 minutes of my day.